Ok so I am blogging about the issue of Activist judges who overturn the will of the people for their own self-serving political views. This is not as much about the homosexual issue as it is about judges who are supposed to uphold the laws and not overturn them because he believes differently. One has to wonder why this ruling didn't come sooner.
Although I think I know why. There had to be a case before the court which could set a precedent and give a judge an opportunity to decide. Without a case, a judge cannot just arbitrarily decided to overturn a law. But this trial was much like any gateway trial in this country when it comes to a civil rights issue.
The Scopes trial in the 1920s had John Scopes, a science teacher and believer in evolution, step up as a scapegoat for the ACLU to try and overturn a law against teaching only "creation" in schools. They also picked the state where it would be most contentious, Tennessee, and set about to turn the nation on its head.
Eventually, evolution won out and was taught in the schools, but a rather peculiar twist occured as a result. From the moment evolution was taught in public schools, it started a revolution which has elevated "evolution" to more fact than theory even though none of it can be proven on a macrobiotic scale.
Homosexuality is not only sinful, it is an abomination or perversion. Romans 1:18-32 speaks clearly enough about it, but there are other passages in scripture, all of which speak of it as evil.
These people want the right to not only be joined together legally (civil union) but also to use the term "Marriage" to describe it. Marriage is the union between Man and Woman according to scripture. It is the only union favored by God. We know, however, that mankind is evil and does not care what God favors. This nation, once a Christian majority has gone to an agnostic or atheistic majority.
Colleges and Universities are in large part to blame for the way our society has become. They teach a liberal politic and seek to undermine the conservative values of our young people. They constantly put down religion and God as myth rather than fact and replace it with the idea that only science can give us the answers about the earth and universe and Mankind.
As Christians, we must fight this and proclaim the truth. Strengthen the resolve of our children as they go off to college so that they can stand against the lies of the liberal left and hopefully one day defeat them and bring back laws that prohibit sinful behavior such as gay marriage. I'm not saying we push the people who claim their gay pride back into the closet, but to proclaim Christ as the salvation we all need and call for repentance of their sin and of all sin.
June 30, 2010
I went to see the A-Team on the big screen today. While it was a good rendition of the characters from the TV show, it just wasn't the same without Mr. T. The only thing reminiscent of the BA Baracus character was the mohawk and the Pity Fool tattoos on the actor's wrist. Brad Cooper did well in Dirk Benedicts role of Face and the actor who played Murdock did Dwight Schultz proud with his craziness. Liam Neeson in the George Peppard role of John Hannibal Smith was a harder sell.
The movie definitely showed their team spirit of making the "Plan" come together and that almost no one integral to the story was killed was also evident. Brian Bloom had credits as a producer as well as actor. Watching a shipyard of storage containers come toppling down was entertaining. I think it would have been entertaining to have had a couple of the old regulars in the movie in bit parts would have been fun, but it had its share of fireworks and explosions.
On a scale of 1-10 I give this movie a 7.5. It was entertaining, but at only a matinee price.
The movie definitely showed their team spirit of making the "Plan" come together and that almost no one integral to the story was killed was also evident. Brian Bloom had credits as a producer as well as actor. Watching a shipyard of storage containers come toppling down was entertaining. I think it would have been entertaining to have had a couple of the old regulars in the movie in bit parts would have been fun, but it had its share of fireworks and explosions.
On a scale of 1-10 I give this movie a 7.5. It was entertaining, but at only a matinee price.
September 07, 2009
IMMORTALITY
Scripture reveals to us that only one person ever born into this world was immortal and through his death on a cross and glorious resurrection gave us forgiveness of sins as well as a share in his immortality. We, however, are not born to be immortal. Our mortality was sealed the day that Man sinned by disobeying God's first commandment. You shall not put any other gods before me.
I was watching The Mummy: Tomb of the Red Dragon King last night and one thing that was in this movie that is in many of this type is the evil king looking for a way to become immortal and reign forever. The part that struck me was that there is always something which can take away his immortality. In this case it was a special knife that if stabbed into his heart would kill him forever.
Nothing can take away Christ's immortality. He even went through death as a human. Not just any death, but a death of indignity and humility at the hands of his enemies. This does not happen in these movies that Hollywood makes. No it is a King who wants to usurp power over everyone and does not care about anyone but himself. He will stop at nothing, including killing his right hand man to show his power to his people.
This man will only oppress the people, not free them from their oppression. His desire to be immortal is selfish and is just like the first humans God made when temptation came their way. They were lied to by the serpent that God was withholding his knowledge from them. The serpent wanted them to think that having this burden of the knowledge of Good and Evil would put them on a level playing field with God. There is no one who can be equal to God. He is the creator and his creation is an extension of his power, but it is not equal to him.
God created mankind in his image- Both male and female he made them. He created the proper environment for them to live in and plenty of food to sustain the life he had breathed into them. If he gave them all these things at creation why then did they want or need more? The serpents lie convinced Eve that God was not being fair with them. She wanted equality with God on all levels and Adam was right there keeping quiet which was his silent acceptance of all that was being said. He could have refuted what Eve said about not touching the tree, but he didn't.
They both took the bait hook, line and sinker and it plunged them down into the existence they and we all live. One of temporal mortality. We interited their sin through our birth and are destined to die just as they did. We can never achieve immortality on our own by any means of our own.
God knows this and has provided us a way outside of ourselves to become immortal. First our sins must be paid for by blood. THat is the way that God has chosen. Life must be sacrificed and blood spilled. Cultures all over the world have religions which have human sacrifice to appease their malevolent gods. Blood is spilled and flesh has been eaten all in the name of their religion. But no sinful human would have been a proper sacrifice to pay for the sins we all commit daily. In preparing his people for the ultimate sacrifice, he set up commandments which showed them what a proper sacrifice would have to be. An unblemished lamb without spot or wrinkle was the beginning. The sins of the people were put on the lamb who was sacrificed. The blood was spilled and sin was atoned.
Christ, the Son of God, became the final sacrifice for our sin. No more sacrifice is necessary or desired. In fact, God tells us that he desires mercy over and above sacrifice. Through this sacrifice, God's mercy and grace are imputed to us. Christ then defeated death through his resurrection on the third day. No grave could hold him and there is no way to take away his immortality by a special incantation or artifact made in this world. Hollywood is still working the side of the serpent by trying to convince us human beings that we can achieve our own immortality, but it is a false immortality because it can be lost. Christ's immortality is given to us as a gift of grace from the creator. Nothing in this world can separate us from it except ourselves.
It is through the means of grace which God has given to us to receive this immortality. These means of Grace are his Word and Sacrament which we receive as we attend church each week and not at the movie theater or your television.
In Christ we pray, Amen.
Scripture reveals to us that only one person ever born into this world was immortal and through his death on a cross and glorious resurrection gave us forgiveness of sins as well as a share in his immortality. We, however, are not born to be immortal. Our mortality was sealed the day that Man sinned by disobeying God's first commandment. You shall not put any other gods before me.
I was watching The Mummy: Tomb of the Red Dragon King last night and one thing that was in this movie that is in many of this type is the evil king looking for a way to become immortal and reign forever. The part that struck me was that there is always something which can take away his immortality. In this case it was a special knife that if stabbed into his heart would kill him forever.
Nothing can take away Christ's immortality. He even went through death as a human. Not just any death, but a death of indignity and humility at the hands of his enemies. This does not happen in these movies that Hollywood makes. No it is a King who wants to usurp power over everyone and does not care about anyone but himself. He will stop at nothing, including killing his right hand man to show his power to his people.
This man will only oppress the people, not free them from their oppression. His desire to be immortal is selfish and is just like the first humans God made when temptation came their way. They were lied to by the serpent that God was withholding his knowledge from them. The serpent wanted them to think that having this burden of the knowledge of Good and Evil would put them on a level playing field with God. There is no one who can be equal to God. He is the creator and his creation is an extension of his power, but it is not equal to him.
God created mankind in his image- Both male and female he made them. He created the proper environment for them to live in and plenty of food to sustain the life he had breathed into them. If he gave them all these things at creation why then did they want or need more? The serpents lie convinced Eve that God was not being fair with them. She wanted equality with God on all levels and Adam was right there keeping quiet which was his silent acceptance of all that was being said. He could have refuted what Eve said about not touching the tree, but he didn't.
They both took the bait hook, line and sinker and it plunged them down into the existence they and we all live. One of temporal mortality. We interited their sin through our birth and are destined to die just as they did. We can never achieve immortality on our own by any means of our own.
God knows this and has provided us a way outside of ourselves to become immortal. First our sins must be paid for by blood. THat is the way that God has chosen. Life must be sacrificed and blood spilled. Cultures all over the world have religions which have human sacrifice to appease their malevolent gods. Blood is spilled and flesh has been eaten all in the name of their religion. But no sinful human would have been a proper sacrifice to pay for the sins we all commit daily. In preparing his people for the ultimate sacrifice, he set up commandments which showed them what a proper sacrifice would have to be. An unblemished lamb without spot or wrinkle was the beginning. The sins of the people were put on the lamb who was sacrificed. The blood was spilled and sin was atoned.
Christ, the Son of God, became the final sacrifice for our sin. No more sacrifice is necessary or desired. In fact, God tells us that he desires mercy over and above sacrifice. Through this sacrifice, God's mercy and grace are imputed to us. Christ then defeated death through his resurrection on the third day. No grave could hold him and there is no way to take away his immortality by a special incantation or artifact made in this world. Hollywood is still working the side of the serpent by trying to convince us human beings that we can achieve our own immortality, but it is a false immortality because it can be lost. Christ's immortality is given to us as a gift of grace from the creator. Nothing in this world can separate us from it except ourselves.
It is through the means of grace which God has given to us to receive this immortality. These means of Grace are his Word and Sacrament which we receive as we attend church each week and not at the movie theater or your television.
In Christ we pray, Amen.
September 03, 2009
BIRTHDAY--NOT SUCH A BLESSED DAY
Today is my sister's birthday. She is 3 years and 359 days younger than I am. When we were younger, birthdays took on some significance with us as I am sure they do with many people. It is a celebration of the day your mother gave birth to you. In America, the custom for many is to give the person whose birthday it is, a gift to commemorate the day.
But if we look at it from a Christian perspective, it is the day you were born into this sinful world and because of sin, you will die. Not a pleasant thought is it? Our birthday signifies a date of conviction for sins you haven't necessarily committed as yet, but you will inevitably do so.
Since Adam and Eve fell from grace in the Garden, we have been inheritors of their downfall. Our physical and spiritual death is certain to happen because we fall short of God's glory. The soul that sins, it shall die. But God, the righteous judge has given us a stay on our Spiritual death. One that cost him his Son to a horrible and painful death on our behalf.
Christ Jesus is God's Son and his sacrifice on the Cross was the redemption price for all mankind from its sin. It is by God's grace through faith in His Son's meritorious work on the cross and his mighty resurrection that saves us from eternal life in Hell.
Jesus tells Nicodemus in John 3 that one must be born from above to receive salvation. It is not something we ourselves can do, but that we need God to do it for us. Jesus says, "Flesh gives birth to Flesh and Spirit gives birth to Spirit." So we have been celebrating a day which really gives birth to a dying flesh.
So how do we receive the Spirit birth? We receive it through the sacrament of Holy Baptism. Baptism was instituted by Jesus in the Great Commission when Jesus commanded his disciples to
19 j Go therefore and k make disciples of l all nations, jbaptizing them m in 2 n the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them o to observe all that p I have commanded you. And behold, q I am with you always, to r the end of the age.”
Baptism saves us--1 Peter 3:21. It is nothing more than the word of God attached to water, but in attaching God's word to the element of water, it becomes efficient to cleanse you from sin. Just like if you put clothes in a washing machine, you need to add soap so that the clothes become clean. The soap makes the water efficient to clean the clothing.
Through Baptism, we are born again to the Spirit of God. He gives us the power and faith to believe that all God has said and done for us is true and what the Devil says to us is a lie.
Because of this, Maybe we should count more the day of our Spiritual birth than our Fleshly birth. On your fleshly birthday give your mother a call and thank her for the labor pain and agony she went through from birth to the day you left her to live your own life. Give her a present (she deserves it) and instead Thank God for the blessings of your Spiritual Birth through your Baptism into His Kingdom.
j Mark 16:15, 16
k ch. 13:52
l Luke 24:47; [ch. 24:14; Mark 11:17; Rom. 1:5]
m See Acts 8:16
2 Or into
n [2 Cor. 13:14]
o John 14:15
p [Acts 1:2]
q [ch. 1:23; 18:20; John 12:26; 14:3; 17:24; Acts 18:10]
r See ch. 13:39
The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Mt 28:19-20). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.
Today is my sister's birthday. She is 3 years and 359 days younger than I am. When we were younger, birthdays took on some significance with us as I am sure they do with many people. It is a celebration of the day your mother gave birth to you. In America, the custom for many is to give the person whose birthday it is, a gift to commemorate the day.
But if we look at it from a Christian perspective, it is the day you were born into this sinful world and because of sin, you will die. Not a pleasant thought is it? Our birthday signifies a date of conviction for sins you haven't necessarily committed as yet, but you will inevitably do so.
Since Adam and Eve fell from grace in the Garden, we have been inheritors of their downfall. Our physical and spiritual death is certain to happen because we fall short of God's glory. The soul that sins, it shall die. But God, the righteous judge has given us a stay on our Spiritual death. One that cost him his Son to a horrible and painful death on our behalf.
Christ Jesus is God's Son and his sacrifice on the Cross was the redemption price for all mankind from its sin. It is by God's grace through faith in His Son's meritorious work on the cross and his mighty resurrection that saves us from eternal life in Hell.
Jesus tells Nicodemus in John 3 that one must be born from above to receive salvation. It is not something we ourselves can do, but that we need God to do it for us. Jesus says, "Flesh gives birth to Flesh and Spirit gives birth to Spirit." So we have been celebrating a day which really gives birth to a dying flesh.
So how do we receive the Spirit birth? We receive it through the sacrament of Holy Baptism. Baptism was instituted by Jesus in the Great Commission when Jesus commanded his disciples to
19 j Go therefore and k make disciples of l all nations, jbaptizing them m in 2 n the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them o to observe all that p I have commanded you. And behold, q I am with you always, to r the end of the age.”
Baptism saves us--1 Peter 3:21. It is nothing more than the word of God attached to water, but in attaching God's word to the element of water, it becomes efficient to cleanse you from sin. Just like if you put clothes in a washing machine, you need to add soap so that the clothes become clean. The soap makes the water efficient to clean the clothing.
Through Baptism, we are born again to the Spirit of God. He gives us the power and faith to believe that all God has said and done for us is true and what the Devil says to us is a lie.
Because of this, Maybe we should count more the day of our Spiritual birth than our Fleshly birth. On your fleshly birthday give your mother a call and thank her for the labor pain and agony she went through from birth to the day you left her to live your own life. Give her a present (she deserves it) and instead Thank God for the blessings of your Spiritual Birth through your Baptism into His Kingdom.
j Mark 16:15, 16
k ch. 13:52
l Luke 24:47; [ch. 24:14; Mark 11:17; Rom. 1:5]
m See Acts 8:16
2 Or into
n [2 Cor. 13:14]
o John 14:15
p [Acts 1:2]
q [ch. 1:23; 18:20; John 12:26; 14:3; 17:24; Acts 18:10]
r See ch. 13:39
The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Mt 28:19-20). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.
September 02, 2009
A NEW SCHOOL YEAR
My children have been in school now for almost 3 weeks. J is in the 7th grade at a local public middle school and P is in the 4th grade at a nearby Lutheran School. So far both are getting along in their schools fairly well.
Now it is my turn. This next Tuesday I begin my 4th year of Seminary study at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne. The first quarter will be my biggest challenge as I am taking 18 credits right off the bat. Having spent the past year as a vicar, I got out of the practice of studying many subjects for long periods of time and instead prepared for sermons and bible studies.
One of my professors for a class titled "Luther Theology in Survey" recently sent an email telling us how much reading we will be doing over the next 10 weeks. This is a monumental jump for someone who maybe read a few commentaries to prepare for Bible Study.
This year is important though because at the end, I pray that I will receive a call to lead a church. I know that this year is going to prove as challenging as that first class to learn Greek three years ago. I will be called upon to think in very theological terms.
Another development for me has been the diagnosis of Attnetion Deficit Disorder or ADD. I began taking this medication 2 weeks ago and I have noticed some positive changes in my ability to focus on certain tasks though I am losing the effects as I get into the 10th hour after taking it and I begin to crash and feel tired.
I think I will have to try another month on a higher dosage to determine just how much I need to function properly.
Please keep me in your prayers this school year that God will help me to accomplish all that I need to become his servant.
My children have been in school now for almost 3 weeks. J is in the 7th grade at a local public middle school and P is in the 4th grade at a nearby Lutheran School. So far both are getting along in their schools fairly well.
Now it is my turn. This next Tuesday I begin my 4th year of Seminary study at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne. The first quarter will be my biggest challenge as I am taking 18 credits right off the bat. Having spent the past year as a vicar, I got out of the practice of studying many subjects for long periods of time and instead prepared for sermons and bible studies.
One of my professors for a class titled "Luther Theology in Survey" recently sent an email telling us how much reading we will be doing over the next 10 weeks. This is a monumental jump for someone who maybe read a few commentaries to prepare for Bible Study.
This year is important though because at the end, I pray that I will receive a call to lead a church. I know that this year is going to prove as challenging as that first class to learn Greek three years ago. I will be called upon to think in very theological terms.
Another development for me has been the diagnosis of Attnetion Deficit Disorder or ADD. I began taking this medication 2 weeks ago and I have noticed some positive changes in my ability to focus on certain tasks though I am losing the effects as I get into the 10th hour after taking it and I begin to crash and feel tired.
I think I will have to try another month on a higher dosage to determine just how much I need to function properly.
Please keep me in your prayers this school year that God will help me to accomplish all that I need to become his servant.
August 24, 2009
Yesterday, the Epistle was on Ephesians 5:22-33. This is a familiar passage to many who have gone through pre-marital counseling and perhaps even marriage counseling or marriage retreats.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she rrespects her husband.
I have a confession to make--I have been derelict in my duty as husband for 14 years. I have not been there to defend my wife when members of my family have insulted or attacked her character. As a husband, I am supposed to love my wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. I am supposed to sacrifice myself for her no matter what. When I vowed before God and witnesses that I took her for my wife, I was promising to do just that as I said that I would forsake all others for her.
Only recently have I realized just how much I have truly broken this promise. I have sinned against my wife by not forsaking all others and giving myself up for her. I am now doing as I should have been doing all along. I have no excuse for my behavior. I have been a coward throughout much of my adult life. I like to debate things, but when I am confronted with my own faults, I have found it easier to let my wife or someone else take the blame for my actions.
Now don't let take this next part as my excuse because I have absolutely no excuse for my lack of Christian love towards my wife. I was born with a congenital hypothyroidism. The doctors who originally diagnosed me informed my parents that I would be a cretin because I lacked the iodine-containing hormones which regulate growth and brain function. To read more about this defect go to: http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition=congenitalhypothyroidism. I was born in 1961 and this research was a new thing in medicine. I was six weeks old when I became very sick and my parents took me to several doctors before discovering what my problem was.
It was discovered and treated, but the doctors were skeptical that I would be able to function as a normal human being and that I would find life a continuous challenge. They watched me for three years and determined that I would be normal though I would be a late bloomer in many things. I believe that because of this, my parents did as all parents do when they have "special needs" children, they sheltered me as much as possible. Sheltering a child from harm is a natural reaction for parents with special needs children. One of my nephews has downs syndrome and I know that my sister and her husband do all they can to give him as normal a life as the boy can have, but at the same time they protect him from as much harm as this world can deliver.
My parents sheltered me as well, though I am not mentally challenged. This sheltering has a negative effect in the later years of their growth because it often prohibits the child from being able to fend for himself in social situations. I look back at my childhood and see myself depending way too heavily on my parents to pick me up when I fell. Because of this I never truly took responsibility for the things I did which were harmful because I knew that I could look to my parents to bail me out (kind of like the government with the banks this past year). When my father died, I looked to my Grandfather for the financial bailouts. As I said, I don't consider this an excuse for my behavior over the past 14 years but it helps explain to some degree why I developed certain behaviors in life.
This has become a problem in my marriage because I transferred the behavior of looking to my wife to bail me out of the financial mess I put us into. The other problem I had was that I trusted (wrongly I might add) that I had a safety net beneath me and that after each time my Grandfather bailed us out, I went right back to my previous behavior of spending money foolishly and getting back into debt.
My wife has always been there for me, but I have not been there for her. She has defended me to my own family and to her family. I have not defended her to anyone including last year on vicarage when my vicarage supervisor got 2 inches away from my wife's face to tell her that leaving before the benediction is an affront to God. The truth of the matter was it was an affront to him. I do not believe for one moment that leaving before the benediction offends God. God loves us and sent his son to die for us. Just because someone doesn't hear the benediction doesn't mean that it doesn't cover them. But then my supervisor told her she was overmedicating her children (she left because the ADD meds had worn off and the kids were becoming unruly). He was literally acting like a child in his argument as he stood there spitting while he shouted and then responding to her responses like an arrogant child saying with attitude, "I'm sorry you feel that way."
I was right there watching this whole episode and never butted in to say a word. Had I to live that over again, I would have gladly sacrificed my vicarage for the honor of my wife, but that is neither here nor there as I don't have that opportunity again and it is pointless to focus on it.
I am now finally getting it and realizing my lack of responsibility in my relationship with her. I hope that we can build a proper relationship with her and that the next 14 years don't mirror the first but are instead a reflection of God's work in our relationship. I love Kelly and my daugters J and P. With the help of God, I am and will continue to love them as I should forsaking all others for their protection. Christ is the head of the church and I am the head of this house. I have been given the responsibility of husband and father. I am the steward of my household and answer only to them and God.
If you are a parent with a child who has congenital hypothyroidism, don't shelter them from responsibility they need to take in their lives so that they can face those challenges that come upon them with integrity.
I will continue to write here about these things that I am being challenged with of late including school when it begins in two weeks.
I ask my Lord and God to grant me forgiveness for the the cowardice and for not owning up to my responsibility until now. He is merciful to forgive and to help me live as a faithful man in Christ.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she rrespects her husband.
I have a confession to make--I have been derelict in my duty as husband for 14 years. I have not been there to defend my wife when members of my family have insulted or attacked her character. As a husband, I am supposed to love my wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. I am supposed to sacrifice myself for her no matter what. When I vowed before God and witnesses that I took her for my wife, I was promising to do just that as I said that I would forsake all others for her.
Only recently have I realized just how much I have truly broken this promise. I have sinned against my wife by not forsaking all others and giving myself up for her. I am now doing as I should have been doing all along. I have no excuse for my behavior. I have been a coward throughout much of my adult life. I like to debate things, but when I am confronted with my own faults, I have found it easier to let my wife or someone else take the blame for my actions.
Now don't let take this next part as my excuse because I have absolutely no excuse for my lack of Christian love towards my wife. I was born with a congenital hypothyroidism. The doctors who originally diagnosed me informed my parents that I would be a cretin because I lacked the iodine-containing hormones which regulate growth and brain function. To read more about this defect go to: http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition=congenitalhypothyroidism. I was born in 1961 and this research was a new thing in medicine. I was six weeks old when I became very sick and my parents took me to several doctors before discovering what my problem was.
It was discovered and treated, but the doctors were skeptical that I would be able to function as a normal human being and that I would find life a continuous challenge. They watched me for three years and determined that I would be normal though I would be a late bloomer in many things. I believe that because of this, my parents did as all parents do when they have "special needs" children, they sheltered me as much as possible. Sheltering a child from harm is a natural reaction for parents with special needs children. One of my nephews has downs syndrome and I know that my sister and her husband do all they can to give him as normal a life as the boy can have, but at the same time they protect him from as much harm as this world can deliver.
My parents sheltered me as well, though I am not mentally challenged. This sheltering has a negative effect in the later years of their growth because it often prohibits the child from being able to fend for himself in social situations. I look back at my childhood and see myself depending way too heavily on my parents to pick me up when I fell. Because of this I never truly took responsibility for the things I did which were harmful because I knew that I could look to my parents to bail me out (kind of like the government with the banks this past year). When my father died, I looked to my Grandfather for the financial bailouts. As I said, I don't consider this an excuse for my behavior over the past 14 years but it helps explain to some degree why I developed certain behaviors in life.
This has become a problem in my marriage because I transferred the behavior of looking to my wife to bail me out of the financial mess I put us into. The other problem I had was that I trusted (wrongly I might add) that I had a safety net beneath me and that after each time my Grandfather bailed us out, I went right back to my previous behavior of spending money foolishly and getting back into debt.
My wife has always been there for me, but I have not been there for her. She has defended me to my own family and to her family. I have not defended her to anyone including last year on vicarage when my vicarage supervisor got 2 inches away from my wife's face to tell her that leaving before the benediction is an affront to God. The truth of the matter was it was an affront to him. I do not believe for one moment that leaving before the benediction offends God. God loves us and sent his son to die for us. Just because someone doesn't hear the benediction doesn't mean that it doesn't cover them. But then my supervisor told her she was overmedicating her children (she left because the ADD meds had worn off and the kids were becoming unruly). He was literally acting like a child in his argument as he stood there spitting while he shouted and then responding to her responses like an arrogant child saying with attitude, "I'm sorry you feel that way."
I was right there watching this whole episode and never butted in to say a word. Had I to live that over again, I would have gladly sacrificed my vicarage for the honor of my wife, but that is neither here nor there as I don't have that opportunity again and it is pointless to focus on it.
I am now finally getting it and realizing my lack of responsibility in my relationship with her. I hope that we can build a proper relationship with her and that the next 14 years don't mirror the first but are instead a reflection of God's work in our relationship. I love Kelly and my daugters J and P. With the help of God, I am and will continue to love them as I should forsaking all others for their protection. Christ is the head of the church and I am the head of this house. I have been given the responsibility of husband and father. I am the steward of my household and answer only to them and God.
If you are a parent with a child who has congenital hypothyroidism, don't shelter them from responsibility they need to take in their lives so that they can face those challenges that come upon them with integrity.
I will continue to write here about these things that I am being challenged with of late including school when it begins in two weeks.
I ask my Lord and God to grant me forgiveness for the the cowardice and for not owning up to my responsibility until now. He is merciful to forgive and to help me live as a faithful man in Christ.
August 23, 2009
One lesson I am learning in my middle age that I never learned before is how to stand up for myself. In doing so, I am also learning to defend others. Even though I am at the seminary for becoming a Pastor, I am constantly learning how self-centered I have become in my life. There is no one to blame except myself for what I have become. I can't blame my parents (which would put me on Oprah) and I can't blame God because he has given me through the Holy Spirit everything I need to combat this sinful nature.
The first thing I am learning is that I am an adult who needs not to justify his actions with anyone else. It was recently pointed out to me by someone I deeply respect that I carry myself in a defensive nature. The way I sit at the table and the way that I respond when when someone asks me about something I said I would do or that needs to be done is defensive. I give an excuse for just about everthing I do. I started thinking, "Why do I do this?" Why do I feel that I have to justify myself for everything?
I used to and still do on occasion, tell someone in my family what I bought at a store, why I bought it and how much it cost. Why do I feel the need to do this? I don't owe anyone an explanation.
There are a lot of behaviors that I am working to change in my life. Behaviors that have been detrimental in my closest relationships. I know that they may take years to see them play out the way that I want them to, but I am doing them nonetheless. I am stopping this language my father-in-law calls "procrastinative" I have said, "I am going to do xyz" now I am working at saying, "I am doing xyz" or "I need to clean the garage." to "I am cleaning the garage."
I need to be more considerate of my partner by trying to be a better partner myself. So for now I ask that everyone please be patient with me because God isn't finished with me yet. I need your prayers that God will work with me to change those things which are necessary to making me be less self-centered and more Christ-centered.
I will keep you posted on God's success at helping me change my ways and life.
Scott Strohkirch
The first thing I am learning is that I am an adult who needs not to justify his actions with anyone else. It was recently pointed out to me by someone I deeply respect that I carry myself in a defensive nature. The way I sit at the table and the way that I respond when when someone asks me about something I said I would do or that needs to be done is defensive. I give an excuse for just about everthing I do. I started thinking, "Why do I do this?" Why do I feel that I have to justify myself for everything?
I used to and still do on occasion, tell someone in my family what I bought at a store, why I bought it and how much it cost. Why do I feel the need to do this? I don't owe anyone an explanation.
There are a lot of behaviors that I am working to change in my life. Behaviors that have been detrimental in my closest relationships. I know that they may take years to see them play out the way that I want them to, but I am doing them nonetheless. I am stopping this language my father-in-law calls "procrastinative" I have said, "I am going to do xyz" now I am working at saying, "I am doing xyz" or "I need to clean the garage." to "I am cleaning the garage."
I need to be more considerate of my partner by trying to be a better partner myself. So for now I ask that everyone please be patient with me because God isn't finished with me yet. I need your prayers that God will work with me to change those things which are necessary to making me be less self-centered and more Christ-centered.
I will keep you posted on God's success at helping me change my ways and life.
Scott Strohkirch
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