Losing sight of ones goal is a scary thing. I have recently realized that it had happened to me (last night). I made assumptions that were wrong and found myself ill-prepared to lead the few congregants which had gathered for the Ascension day service. To top it off I forgot to put on my cincture rope for my Alb. I was a mess and my appearance showed it. I rushed everything in the beginning and my prayer was a rambling off the top of my head.

All of this happened because I got caught up with the idea that this is a job and not a ministry. I have seemingly battled this all year long and it came to a culmination last night. I have in my head blamed everyone but myself for why things have gone wrong lately. I certainly wouldn't blame my vicarage supervisor for failing me at this point. He certainly would be justified in believing from my actions of late that I was not Pastor material. I have been praying in my head mostly that God would help me to recapture in the last month what I have lost over the past 11.

I love to serve the Lord, but Satan has done a good job of distracting me from my goal and that is to serve the Lord with joy and gladness. It is a "get to" not a "have to"

From here on to the last day of my vicarage, I will serve this congregation to the best of my ability with the help of God. They deserve the best and I need to give the best.

O Lord, you are the most important thing in my life. My wife and children with whom you have blessed me are my second priority. Please help me to be the servant you want and need me to be. Help me to see the lost souls who need to hear your word and receive your forgiveness of sin. Forgive me for my selfish ways O Lord and restore me to the joy of your salvation.
In the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen